About babies

(a) don't worry, I'm not going to get all naughty
(b) no, we're not having a baby

so, for the two of you now left, babies. I don't know how to say this, but I'm having difficulty with babies. By that, I mean I don't know how to react when people show me pictures of them.

I know that the polite side of me wants to say "how lovely, what a smasher, oh doesn't he/she look like you" and in many circumstances I can say that. But the issue is this.

Some babies just look weird. I'm not being nasty, i'm just being truthful.

That's where my honesty wants to kick in. I don't mean recoiling in terror yelling "THE HORROR, THE HORROR", that would be too much. I've started to say "nice baby, 6 out of 10" or "That's the third best looking baby I've seen this year". But people seem to react negatively to this. (Oh, and really don't go for 'Have you seen Rosemary's Baby?' that really freaks parents out.)

I mean, the baby can't understand, so can't be offended - and in a way I'm surely encouraging the parents to help the child. A bit like giving feedback on a geography fieldwork project, giving a few pointers, maybe a hat or something. Or a blaclava.

No, of course I would never say these things. We've established just how nice I am. But one of these days I'm going to say something I shouldn't and probably get chased out of someones house.

Or at least banned from The Early Learning Centre.