Being sick is rotten isn't it? It makes everything just that little bit harder and disorganised. We have bins rammed full of tissues, half drunk glasses of water and more drugs than an Irvine Welsh novel knocking round the house. Simple things like breathing and swallowing become some painful that rather than be aware of the broken glass like sensation you try to do neither. Which is fine for about 9 seconds but then you have to give in and it's just worse.
And the medicines? When I was young if I was sick I had disprin. That was it. Now, there are (I'm not joking, I counted) around 3.4 billion types of generic painkiller on the shelves just in the supermarket. You need a flow chart to choose? Do you have headache? Is it during the night? Do you want to be able to levitate? If yes, you need Asprimol45 with added Caramac and Vitamin Pro-K. Also, never ever read the information leaflet inside the box. Lord no. Typical information inside ibuprofen packet "this product may cause dizziness, bleeding, drowsiness, stomach ulcers, a fondness for jazz, a stammer, earache, the inability to open doors and headaches." I love the last bit - I've got a headache, but this might cause a headache? You might as well punch yourself in the face.
Oh, and the expensive painkillers. Yes, I'm looking at you Nurofen Ultra or whatever you're called. "Double the strength - only one tablet required." Yes, at triple the price. Alternatively I could just take two of the normal ones couldn't I? And stop pretending that 'liquitab' is a word thats a lot of 'utterballs'.
The coughing noise from upstairs tells me she's waking up, so I'm off to play Florence Nightingale - by which I mean I'm going to revolutionise modern medicine through my work with the injured soldiers of the Crimean war.
Happy new year.
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