Walk a mile in my brain

There's an old saying that goes. "Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes". Great advice of course, especially if you are a shoe thief.

In a similar way I'd like to invite you into my head. Yes, come on in - there's plenty of room (MEGALOL etc.) Seriously though, I started having a think about how I view things and how my brain works, and I thought it worth sharing.

Here's how it works, answer a, b or c and then tot up for the end score. It's like a Facebook quiz, only with adding up at the end.

1. You are in an office and someone is packing their belongings into a large crate with the word 'Rentacrates' on the side. Does your brain say:

(a) Oh, they must be leaving
(b) I wonder where they are going
(c) That person must be a Greek man called Rentacrates (as in Socrates) who lives in a crate and has his name emblazoned on the side.

2. You are driving down an industrial estate and see the head offices for Sara Lee Cakes and McAfee Computer Viruses. How do you picture the insides of the building?

(a) Modern, fresh offices.
(b) Lots of computers, probably quite swish
(c) The Sarah Lee head office is made of icing and sponge with people covered in sprinkles. Meanwhile McAffee employers are wearing haz-med suits running round with nets trying to catch giant monstrous versions of viruses

3. You see the sign 'Dogs must be carried on the escalator'. What's the first thing you think?

(a) I don't have a dog, so not to worry
(b) Good sensible safety advice
(c) They must be carried? Does that mean I must get a dog before I am allowed travel on one? Where am I going to get at dog from in Next? That's just crazy

4.When someone asks for 'the bill' in a restaurant, what do you say?

(a) "How much do I owe?"
(b) "It's ok, I'll get this"
(c) "Do we really need to get the police involved?"

5. You see a dog in the street. As you walk by do you:

(a) Pat its head
(b) Avoid it
(c) Do a pretend dog voice, a bit like Tommy Cooper, and pretend it said the words you just said in the voice

Right. Tot up your scores.

Mostly (a) or (b), be thankful and sleep soundly. Mostly (c), welcome to my head, please make yourself at home.