Criminally bad timing

Just a quickie today - a story of bad timing that, thankfully, has ended up with me just blogging about it rather than being in a cell or something.

The other day me and the missus were out gardening. I was doing my manly "mow the front lawn with ipod on" and she was in the back, decimating weeds. Lisa then spotted that one of the trees in our garden was dangerously branching out onto the road over our wall and that the stem was splintering away.

We decided to take emergency action and cut the branch off. As it was about 12 foot long it was left precariously balanced on our fence - half in our garden, half now all over the road. We couldn't shift it from the just garden, so I climbed over the fence - next to our For Sale sign - using a stepladder, swung the ladder over the wall and got down the other side. (Bear with me).

I grabbed the long branch and leaves and moved it off the road and then shinned back up the ladder to get it back over the fence.

So there I was. In the scruffiest clothing I had, unshaven, up a step ladder, by a fence, next to a for sale sign...when the Police video van happened to drive by. Spot me. And reverse up the road.

I couldn't have looked more suspicious if I'd had a bag with 'Swag' written on it. Or perhaps be brandishing a candle stick yelling "I'm coming for you Colonel Mustard."

Thankfully a quick chat to explain I was the homeowner and trying to shift a dangerous branch was more compelling than me trying to break into a vacant house. But, my lord, I felt guilty. After a few minutes they were satisfied with my explanation and I was able to get back into the garden.

I found Lisa hiding behind one of the trees, having remained utterly silent throughout the whole incident. She whispered to me "I didn't know what to do, so I just hid the saw." I think we've watched too much CSI, with priority number one being 'hide the murder weapon'.

Thinking about it now, whilst the Police were right to stop why would a burglar also be tidying branches up - presumably a very thoughtful horticulturarly-minded one - and be armed with a saw (not the best weapon for burglarly, unless the homeowner is ostensibly wooden.)

A best of all? They didn't find the body we'd just buried...