Sausages don't say Phwoar

Shopping the other day and I was browsing the latest DVDs when I noticed a little addition to all the main comedy releases.

It's a little sticker on the packaging with a simple phrase. It says "Everyone Loves a DVD". That's all.

Now I got thinking about this, and I started to disagree on several levels. Firstly, I don't need someone to tell me that a product is so universally liked that it would clearly make a great Christmas present. Because that's what at work here. The sticker is supposed to act on behalf of your brain.

It's like you'd be stuck for a Christmas Present, see the 'Lee Evans Best Routines' Boxset and think 'Should I get that? Well, everyone loves a DVD, don't they?' but the sticker has got there first - you've reached the conclusion before you've asked the question.

And I don't like that one bit. I don't need to be told. I'd like to make my mind up. Sausages don't have a label on them saying "Phwoar. You'd be mental not to love these bangers" or plasters with "These are so brilliant you'll want to cut yourself open just to try them." It's more dumbing down. It's implying we can't think for ourselves.

And besides which, the statement is factually incorrect because there is absolutely no way that 'everyone' can 'love' a dvd. What about:

(a) people who work in the DVD business and spend hours pressing the discs - they must be fed up of seeing them
(b) the same people, who have just been made redundant
(c) anyone who has suffered a bereavement because of a dvd related death (decapitated by disc, electrocuted plugging dvd player, watched 'Lee Evans Best Routines' and shooting themselves out of despair)
(d)Blu-ray machine owners
(e)People who can't afford dvd players.

You get the idea. So technically it should be "Everyone Loves a DVD ,don't they?

By the way, if you still need to get me a present then I've made a new sticker which simply says "Everyone loves £50 notes or cocaine" that I'll be happy to forward to you to help you with your choice.