Booze smooze

I'm off the booze.

Honest. I haven't touched any this year. This decade even. Now, that might sound a little trite considering it's only January 4th. It's up there with the old school gag of when people say "what are you giving up for New Year" and you say "School". And you all laugh for 13 minutes. Before getting a C in A-Level Politics.

Anyway, it's probably because me and the wife have both been ill rather than a sheer 4 day display of will power, but I'm quite enjoying the clarity it brings to my health. By that, it means I can no longer blame booze on feeling ropy in the morning, or smelling odd, or whatever it was I was excusing. Now I have to deal with the real me, the non-alco-pop me. I've even kept two cans (not toucans, no) of Fosters in the fridge almost as a tease to myself - and it seems to be working.

There is a serious point to this. A few years back I had a blood test and the doctor said 'oh, everything is fine, apart from something in your liver - you'll be fine as long as you don't drink stuff like whisky'. I went home and poured away the two bottles I'd been given as a leaving present from a job at that point. It put the willies up me - and not much does that. Apart from the woodbeast in Flash Gordon of course..

I'm not sure i'm on the wagon for good, but that I'll save drinking for special occasions such as birthdays, holidays and seeing old friends - rather than days which have the letter 'y' in them. Of course, without the effect of booze in my life I'd never have such great memories as these - all events helped along by alcohol.

1.Punching a plate glass window into my friends face.
2.Wanging a full pint of beer out the door of a hotel because another one had arrived to take it's place.
3.Dancing to Jason Nevins vs RUN DMC and saying 'ooh, this is really good'
4.Claiming, on live radio, that Robbie Williams had been shot dead during an interview with a prospective politician.
5.Hanging sausages on threads outside people's doors so that when they came out of their room they walked into a seemingly levitating sausage

Of course, there's probably a lot more than that. I just can't seem to remember them.