I don't know quite why, but I started to think about bullying the other day. By that, I don't mean I intentionally laid out a five point plan to cause misery to people for their dinner money, more the topic of it and how I've encountered it over the years.
When I was at school I got bullied three times. Once at Primary school by a lad called Andrew who punched me in the arm because I told our teacher, a nun, that he stole some marbles. That sounds like the plot of a Roddy Doyle book, I know, but even at the age of five I clearly knew that the truth deserved telling despite the threat of violence. That and I could never lie to a nun.
At secondary school I often had to get the bus and that was the point at which I discovered 'the bigger boy' - a 15 year old called Mark who didn't like me for what seemed to be the sole reason that I asked the bus driver to drop me on the corner and not 50 yards along at the bus stop near Mark. He pushed my head against the window once, which is quite an achievement if you've ever since just how massive my noggin is. I think he stole my 12trip tickets, with 3 trips remaining, as well. I saw him about 10 years later on a moped near a job centre. Clearly he'd used up those 3 trips.
My favourite (if you can have such a thing) bit of bullying was from a boy called Ryan at secondary school. He was massive and regarded as an utter psycho. Thing was, his father was a bit of a crook and one summer he set fire to his own yacht as an insurance job. Ryan was alledgedly caught in the fire, breathed in smoke and it messed up his vocal chords. As a result he had to have an operation and wear a button on his throat. When he wanted to talk he had to press it, to press onto his vocal chords. It was like having a Bond villain in your class.
Anyway, one day he decided I needed a kicking and he chased me across a bit of the playing field, kicked my legs out from under me and pinned me to the floor, putting his legs astride my arms so I couldn't move (steady on, this isn't going anywhere funny.). However, to then threaten me he had to push the button his throat and tell me "I'M GOING TO BATTER YOU" but the fact he was out of breath meant his voice buzzed too much, like being attacked by R2D2 and I burst out laughing. That somehow put him off and he left.
Of course, that was silly old school days (happiest of your life apparantly) - since then I've met a few people at work who have been just as bad. One woman who went from boss to psycho in two minutes and never looked back, making my life a misery whenever she could. She's dead now of course. Of course she isn't. I haven't cut her brakes. Not yet. She's old anyway, and looks a lot like the villain in Terrahawks, so perhaps that's enough for me to know.
And remember - the way to deal with bullies is, of course, to stand up to them.
Either that or anvils.
No comments:
Post a Comment