Seasons greetings

Merry Christmas. Seriously, Merry Christmas. Isn't it Christmas? It isn't yet? Surely it must be?

Now, you can read that in a number of ways - like an excitable child who can't wait to get presents (Darth Vader Star Destroyer in 1984 - best present ever) or you can read it in my grumpy old man voice that declares it must be Christmas because the decorations are up everywhere.

Seriously, you'd think that Christmas was an 8 week long festival that starts in early November. Still, my missus has done all the present buyin and wrapping, despatched 99% of them and has even written the cards. Were it just me, I'd only be considering looking at Play.com about now. It pays to get married I say.

Anyway, I'm hoping that this year I'll see one of the most bizarre Christmas sites, like I did last year...

I work in Leeds and we are next to the joy that is the White Rose Centre, one of the biggest shopping centres in the area. They always have a lovely line in Christmas decorations with elves and workshops and the like. But last year I finally got to see Santa walking around. But he wasn't alone. Did he have a reindeer? An elf?

No. He had a security guard. Yes, Santa has a security guard in Leeds. I don't know the background to it, whether he was duffed up by a burly grinch or, more likely, had his sleigh driven into on the m62.

It seemed a little sad to me that he had to be protected in this way. Instead of the "What do you want for christmas?" line I imagine he is obliged to say "And what would you like to tell Father Christmas you would like, bearing in mind I am only a represenative of the real santa and - as such - cannot make a legally binding contract with you over what you will/will not recieve."

Anyway, I want Keplunk and the Doctor Who annual. So if anyone is reading and wants to help Santa out then get in touch.